Torn Up

Today as I sat in one of the classrooms, I finally realized why living here has been so difficult at times...I'm a fairly sensitive person, and being here--witnessing injustice and poverty in very real ways firsthand--has allowed me to have pieces of my heart torn apart just about every day.

Take this morning, for example. I went in to a classroom, where the teacher showed little effort to teach students who are eager to learn and whose futures depend on getting a good education. In fact, when I arrived the teacher wasn't even there, and they told me that they had done nothing in the first 45 minutes of class. :(

Then, it was break time and I had two boys (both about 15 years old) come up to me to tell me they were hungry. So I had them come up to my apartment to get a snack and come to find out that one of the boys' mother had left him and his brother for about a week and a half to visit family in another part of the country. She didn't leave any money for food, and when I asked him how he'd eat, he told me that his brother would try to sell things, and if he sold enough, they'd have money for food; if not, there would be no food.

Next I was sitting in another classroom when a new student who came to our school about a week ago was brought into the classroom with a desk-- interrupting the class, as the teacher who brought him in announced that he couldn't do the work in P4, so he'd have to join P2. The boy looked so embarrassed and just put his head down on his desk in shame. This boy was abandoned by his parents and has been being taken care of by a woman in the village who cannot walk and must push herself along on her belly to get places.

Well, that's just the start of my morning...all of this happened by about 10:30 and I just get feeling so frustrated inside. It's like seeing "Compassion" ads live and feeling so powerless over a whole society...a whole system so in need.

Being here has truly been a lesson in humility. I came thinking I could "change the world" and already am realizing that the issues here are so complex that one person cannot change everything. However, I'm also learning how important encouragement and love are to these kids and how I'm called to be generous. Before sending out the disciples, Jesus tells them, "Freely you have received, freely give" (Matthew 10:8b). Although I may not be able to change the world, I can obey Jesus' call to give freely...whether that's of my time and energy, a hug, a word of encouragement, a smile, some food, or just a moment of my day to spend time with a child who needs it. After all, what have I done to deserve to be in my position over theirs? Nothing...it is only by the grace of God.